I am so depressed,
thinking of ending my life many times those three days.
I love someone which really hurt me. I decided to leave him cause I felt so hurtful.
Jun 8, 2010
Mar 25, 2010
Mar 16, 2010
fragile
I feel fragile and pretty lonely today.
Just hard to describe.
Feel really very fragile and I am crying now.
Just hard to describe.
Feel really very fragile and I am crying now.
Jan 10, 2010
despair life
I am afraid that, once saying it out, it will become a curse, or at least a trap for my thinking.
Admittedly she is smart and cool, she read this world through (right or maybe wrong).
The fear, the unspoken pain, the unacceptable love, the complicate things...
I want to die, but I also have a strong ability to live well.
I want to raise a dog, but do not know how to take care.
so life is dull despair, I hate myself... really hate...
Admittedly she is smart and cool, she read this world through (right or maybe wrong).
The fear, the unspoken pain, the unacceptable love, the complicate things...
I want to die, but I also have a strong ability to live well.
I want to raise a dog, but do not know how to take care.
so life is dull despair, I hate myself... really hate...
Jan 3, 2010
Sunday, 01/03/2010 06:58:49 PM
This afternoon, when dinner time came, I felt pretty hard to have a lonely dinner.
I tried to check three person on MSN, X.D has already had and another two guys just did not answer me.
Actually I wanted to ask JB, but was afraid of being mistook as some invitation or whatever.
I could not go dinner with S. X, he likes me. It's necessary to keep distance not because I do not like him, but because I like him. He is a nice boy but I cannot afford to be with anyone.
I am afraid of solitude, but much more afraid of being with someone.
I would have much fun time with some girls and some boys who have no feelings towards me. Friendship is much more enjoyable than other things to me.
I just walked out of the building, and found two guys walked in front of me. I just followed them, and they also realized there was a girl walking behinds them. I came up with them and asked them, was the canteen 1 and 2 open today? Actually I asked a question the answer I knew, kind of fun. But God knows, I just did not want to have a lonely dinner. So I talked with them. They are very nice person.
After dinner, I also came to their office. Also added their MSN, so next time can go for dinner with them.
I need to find way to make myself happy. Meeting new people and keeping a nice distance.
This afternoon, when dinner time came, I felt pretty hard to have a lonely dinner.
I tried to check three person on MSN, X.D has already had and another two guys just did not answer me.
Actually I wanted to ask JB, but was afraid of being mistook as some invitation or whatever.
I could not go dinner with S. X, he likes me. It's necessary to keep distance not because I do not like him, but because I like him. He is a nice boy but I cannot afford to be with anyone.
I am afraid of solitude, but much more afraid of being with someone.
I would have much fun time with some girls and some boys who have no feelings towards me. Friendship is much more enjoyable than other things to me.
I just walked out of the building, and found two guys walked in front of me. I just followed them, and they also realized there was a girl walking behinds them. I came up with them and asked them, was the canteen 1 and 2 open today? Actually I asked a question the answer I knew, kind of fun. But God knows, I just did not want to have a lonely dinner. So I talked with them. They are very nice person.
After dinner, I also came to their office. Also added their MSN, so next time can go for dinner with them.
I need to find way to make myself happy. Meeting new people and keeping a nice distance.
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